Toller Tot

Chillin' with Dad

2009-09-17T12:01:00.001-04:00

Got my shoes on!

2009-09-15T12:11:00.002-04:00

Don't you just love little baby shoes??

Angry Little Man

2009-09-11T11:29:00.002-04:00

I really wasn't trying to torture the poor kid.... I just wanted to capture some of those faces I see on a regular basis.....haha....

Hey Dude

2009-09-02T11:59:00.001-04:00

Lounging in my chair!

(Thanks for letting me borrow it James!)

Cutie

2009-08-30T11:37:00.000-04:00

Sportin' a cute little shirt given to him by his cousin Kyler.

Bouncer Chair

2009-08-24T11:42:00.003-04:00

I started putting him in this little chair today and he seems to like it. It has a vibration feature and it seems to sooth him for a bit.

Waiting....

2009-07-28T15:57:00.002-04:00

Well, only 5 days until the due date.

I went to the doctor today and I have finally dilated. Only 1 centimeter. But, at least something is happening! She said my cervix is still very posterior though. So, I am not expecting anything to happen right away.

My regular doctor is actually out of town, so I have been meeting with a different doctor the past couple of weeks. But, my doctor already scheduled for me to meet with her on Monday (the day after my due date and her first day back) if he hasn't come by then. The, she might induce me on Tuesday!

Really, it seems little Robby is waiting for his Grandma Kirkham to get here before he makes his debut. My mom told me months ago that she and him have "an arrangment"-- he can't come before she gets here! Well, she gets here TOMORROW (Wedensday). So, we'll see if anything progresses after that!

Almost there!

2009-07-16T12:29:00.000-04:00

Less than 6 weeks left...????

2009-06-23T16:04:00.006-04:00

WHOA!

As we returned from our trip to Utah, heat and humidity start to set in and it starts to hit me that.... it is getting SERIOUSLY CLOSE to when this baby will be born!!!

At church on Sunday I was saying hello to our friends, the Ziemer family. Jared--my little pal who is almost 7 years old-- looks at me and says. "Hi Jenni! You... ummm.... You......" (I could see he was looking at my protruding belly)..... "Your baby is getting bigger!" I couldn't help but laugh and be very impressed at how tactful he really was with that statement! I was waiting for the typical embarrassing, brutally honest statement most children would make, such as "Wow! You've gotten really fat!" Hahaha.... good ol' Jared.

Well, he is right. My baby is DEFINITELY getting bigger! It is amazing how much I've grown in the past few weeks.

Here I am, at just over 34 weeks.

Baby Shower

2009-05-28T11:27:00.004-04:00

Thanks to my friends in Toledo 1st ward that threw a baby shower for me. We had it a little early so that we could do it before all those who's husbands just graduated from med school moved off to their residencies. And before others, including myself, left for summer trips.

It was so different to be the one in the seat being "showered." Honestly, there were times in the past years when I had feared I would never make it far enough in a pregnancy to be able to celebrate with friends in this way!

I received so many cute little clothes and other fun things for Little Robby!

Thanks again, everyone! And thanks to my friend Keriann for hosting it :)

28 weeks!

2009-05-11T10:36:00.003-04:00

Wow.... I am now in the third trimester. I can already feel that these last months are going to speed by so fast. Man, I love this little baby already..... I just can't get over how amazing it is to have this little person inside me and to think that in a few months I'll be holding him in my arms!!! What a miracle this whole process is.

This week I made myself this dress.

It works well with the pregnant belly protruding.

My next sewing project I'll be doing is Little Robby's blessing outfit.

I am making that little suit on the right (not doing the bonnet though....). Hopefully it turns out alright!

Perhaps Steve's NOT the father.....

2009-04-29T09:05:00.004-04:00

There is an eerie resemblance there....

hahaha..... freaky ultrasound picture.....

We didn't get very many pictures this time. But, at least we got the awesome ones the first time. And, most importantly they were able to see that he was healthy and well. They estimated his weight at 2 pounds and 4 ounces.

My doctor said he is measuring slighty bigger than average which means he might come a little earlier than August 2! So, perhaps he'll be a July baby. I've got no objections to that!

And there's the cute little foot that continues to kick.

I love it.

Advice

2009-04-25T20:00:00.000-04:00

Okay all you experienced mothers (and fathers). I need your advice and suggestions. As I start to make lists of what I need/want to buy before this baby comes, I get lost and confused and overwhelmed!

Please share with me.....

...................any items you think are MUST HAVES.

...................any items that are not worth getting.

...................suggestions on good carseats, strollers, cribs etc. (or if you got one you didn't like, tell me what it was and why you didn't like it)

...................anything else you want to share!

Update

2009-04-25T19:23:00.000-04:00

(25 weeks pregnant)

Baby continues to grow, and of course as a result, so do I (don't be deceived... that outfit hides it pretty well.... I will take better pictures next week)!

I am currently TWENTY SIX WEEKS along! Just so you know, that is coming up on 6 months!!! I can't believe it!

I have my next appointment on Tuesday and will be getting another ultrasound. I will definitely share any new pictures I get at that time. I am excited to see little Robby again and wonder what he will look like this time....

Karate Baby

2009-03-26T11:44:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I wonder if Steve (a black belt and former karate teacher) has already somehow started teaching our little guy Karate.... perhaps at night, while I am asleep and unaware..... yeah... I am pretty sure he has.... Little Robby practices all day :)

That's right-- Robby. This little boy will most likely be named Robert. And for now, we call him Robby.

Why Robert, you ask?

Well, lets see.....:

Grandpa Robert Toller (Steve's Dad's Dad)

Robert Toller (Steve's Dad)

Grandpa Harvey Robert Schwitzer (Steve's Mom's Dad)

Grandpa Robert Burtenshaw (Jenni's Mom's Dad)

Grandpa D. Robinson Kirkham, known as Bob Kirkham (Jenni's Dad's Dad)

Need I say more?

HALF WAY THERE!!!!

2009-03-18T08:29:00.000-04:00

Okay, okay..... that's not real..... I enhanced my belly with photoshop..... I just wanted the difference to be a little more drastic from my 14 week picture to my 20 week one....

Here's the real one:

I can't believe we are already 20 weeks along!

We get more and more excited as things progress.

This little guy is a little acrobat. He does flips in my belly and moves all over the place-- especially the other night after I ate a homemade cinnamon roll with cream cheese frosting...mmm..... Perhaps too much sugar for that little dude.... he was literally "bouncing off the walls" that night! It is so fun to be able to feel him moving around in there. Sometimes it kind of weirds me out... in a freaky Alien sort of way.... Okay, so it doesn't really freak me out, it is just so crazy/amazing! There is a little person inside me! And sometimes it catches me off guard when I feel something bash against my belly from the inside!

It is neat that Steve can feel him moving already. I am always making Steve put his hand on my belly in attempts to feel the movements. I want Steve to be as much a part of the experience as possible. Of course, Steve claims to have a calming effect on the baby. Most of the time all the flipping stops as soon as Steve's hand touches my belly. But, he actually felt him for the first time at about 17 or 18 weeks. I first started feeling movements against my hand at about 16 weeks. At the time I wasn't sure if that was really it, but now I'm pretty sure that's what it was. Because, over the weeks it has just gradually increased and become stronger and more noticeable. And now there is no mistaking it! I've even SEEN my belly move once when he did some crazy acrobatic move!

Of course the excitment is increasing..... unfortunately the worrying hasn't DECREASED as much as I'd hoped :)

Over the past week, I've noticed my belly becoming hard sometimes. I freaked out at first, afraid of what it could mean. Isn't it too early for Braxton Hicks? Sometimes it seems to stay hard most of the day, then another day it will hardly do it at all. I finally called my doctor and she said it could be contractions and I could just be starting to feel Braxton Hicks. She told me to try to time them and see if there is any regularity to them. I am having a hard time trying to time them.... Sometimes I don't even notice it start. I just put my hand on my belly and realize it's hard and I think, "How long has it been like that??" It doesn't hurt. Sometimes it gets a little uncomfortable just because it stays tight for so long. Anyway, any input from any of you experiences mothers out there would be greatly appreciated!

What will he look like???

2009-03-07T10:35:00.000-05:00

Dad

Mom

It's a.....

2009-03-05T16:54:00.000-05:00

BOY!!!

So, I am not really suprised. As much as I wanted a girl, I had a feeling it was going to be a boy. And I am so happy to know! And it DEFINITELY is a boy!!!! It was so fun to see him in there moving around and everything. They said he looked great. Everything seems to be going well. What a blessing!!! We are so grateful for our cute little boy and I feel like I know him better now :)

Thumbs up!

Is that you....???

2009-02-19T15:31:00.000-05:00

So, for the past few days I have felt flutters and "bubblings" and whatnot. I wonder every time... "Is that you, Lil' Tot?" Not sure if it is, but I sure can't wait until I can feel the babe moving and know for sure that is what it is!

15 weeks

2009-02-09T14:28:00.000-05:00

"Your baby now measures nearly 4 inches from crown to rump, about the length of a Kit Kat "finger" (regular-size, not the Big one you get at the movies), and weighs almost 2 ounces.
Although many women don't start feeling the baby move until the 17th week (or later), your baby has been having his own party in the amniotic sac he calls home. If you feel a little flutter in your belly this week, don't discount it as gas or hunger. It could be your babe banging around.

Here's more to look forward to:

Baby's head is now resting on his well-formed neck instead of directly on his shoulders like Igor.

He's beginning to grow eyebrows and eyelashes this week.

The hair on the head also begins to grow.

Although baby's eyes are sealed shut, he's now able to sense light. His eyes and ears finally look like real baby features now. "

Spoke too soon...

2009-02-04T11:27:00.000-05:00

So, I threw up yesterday......... and today..... guess I might not be COMPLETELY past that stage.... but, that's alright. I can deal with it :) As long as that little Tot keeps growing! Oh, and I also had to change the date of my ultrasound to March 5th. Darn. I know it is only a week later, but still..... Guess I should have made sure Steve didn't have class when I scheduled it originally. I guess he wants to be at the appointment for some reason..... strange... hehe.

14 weeks... and the Heart is still BeAtiNg!

2009-02-02T21:58:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm through the first trimester....

......not throwing up anymore....
....and the doctor says all is looking good!

I think I can start to actually enjoy the experience now without worrying as much!

I don't think I'll ever stop worrying completely, but at least I can feel a bit more at ease knowing I've made it this far!

I scheduled my ultrasound for February 26th and we'll be able to hopefully find out if it is a boy or a girl at that appointment! How exciting! It is all starting to feel so real now!

12 weeks down.....

2009-01-19T20:12:00.000-05:00

Well, I've passed the twelve week mark. I have been taking Prometrium (a progesterone supplement) through the entire pregnancy so far. My last doctor decided he thought my body didn't produce enough progesterone on its own and that is why I kept miscarrying. But, yesterday I stopped taking the Prometrium. I guess once you hit twelve weeks, the baby and placenta should be producing enough progesterone on their own, and your body doesn't need to anymore. It was kind of scary to just STOP taking it.... but, that's what they said to do! And that's what my new doctor said as well... so..... no more Prometrium for me!

For now, I think things are still progressing. I have started to feel less sick, but that is supposed to be normal when you hit the end of your first trimester. I hit a peak of sickness when I was 10 weeks along, where I was throwing up 2 to 3 times a day! But, then it slowly subsided. I still am sensitive to smells, but not as bad. And I still throw up maybe once on most days. Some days I make it through without! And this week I actually cooked dinner a couple of times!

Evidence....

2009-01-14T21:10:00.000-05:00

11 weeks, 4 days

Meet the Doc

2009-01-05T23:17:00.000-05:00

Had my first appointment with the Doctor today. She is SOOO awesome. I really like her. She ended up using a little doppler thing to check for a heartbeat. She said you can't always hear it this early on.... but she said "you're so thin, we just might." Sure enough, that little heart was still beating! What a relief! She said "And that's not just a whimpy heart beat either... that is a strong little heart beat."

Hooray! 10 weeks and 2 days down! This is the farthest I've ever gotten before. And I'm still sick! Things are looking hopeful :)

Back with a vengeance....

2008-12-17T20:02:00.000-05:00

The other day before my appointment I had told my friends Jon and Keriann how I was worried because I wasn't really feeling so sick. Jon reassured me, "Don't worry, I am sure it will come back with a vengeance!" Well, he was right! And again, I am happy to be sick!

I can't stand smells at all! Everything makes me gag and I've started "throwing up" at least once a day (more like dry heaving usually). Sorry, not the most pleasant topic, but to me, it is great news and makes me sooo hopeful!

Poor Steve though... I can't stand to cook.... blah! All the smells and.... yuck.... I pretty much have to force myself to eat!

First Appointment

2008-12-15T19:50:00.000-05:00

I went to my first appointment. Typically (how they do things here) your first appointment you just meet with a nurse who pretty much just talks to you and gets info from you and gives info to you.... makes sure you know all the basics of how to take care of your pregnant self and then she sends you on your way.

I was pretty nervous before the appointment because I was worried I wasn't even pregnant anymore. I had started feeling sick (sensitive to smell) last week, but it seemed like it was kind of going away already over the weekend... which I worried meant the worst. I really wished I could see the doctor at my first visit and that they could do some sort of tests/ultrasound or something to just let me know what was going on! It would be another 3 weeks before I would have my official first appointment with the doctor and I REALLY didn't want to have to be worrying and wondering all through Christmas break.

Anyway, at my appointment, the nurse was super nice and was aware of my past health history (3 early miscarriages). Near the end she asked me "Did they schedule you for an ultrasound??" I told her no.... they had told me I was just to meet with a nurse at first and nothing would be done until later when I met with the doctor. She said "Oh, well, with your history you should really get an ultrasound before your visit with the doctor." She said they would get me in today for an ultrasound. YAY! At that moment I was both excited and also extremely nervous. I really wanted to see what was going on in there but part of me worried that I would see nothing but disappointment.... but, at least I could get it over with.

Anyway, so, there I was, nervous but hopeful..... and sure enough..... a tiny flickering heart beat!!!! My little "peanut" as the ultrasound tech called it measured 1.07 centimeters, which she said was just where it should be.

So, it's just a little tiny thing for now..... but 7 weeks and 2 days down! I'm feeling hopeful.

Sick!

2008-12-08T19:56:00.000-05:00

I went outside today and something smelled really funny and I almost threw up! Yay!!! So strange when you're grateful to feel sick....

It is a reassurance to me that things are going how they are supposed to... so bring on the sickness! I'm willing to endure it!

Hopeful

2008-11-30T11:15:00.000-05:00

My period could have been late.... maybe. Seeing as my cycle is not exactly regular.... it is hard to be sure. There have been months in the past when my cycle lasted 50 days (average is between 28 and 30 I believe). Anyway, I had been on Clomid in August and September, which seemed to have shortened my cycle down to about 32 to 36 days. (still not very exact, but, better than 50 days one month, 32 the next, 45 the next.....)

Anyway, stopped taking clomid in October, but my cycle was still about 33 days. So, this next cycle, I wasn't sure what to expect.... after not being on the clomid anymore, would it go back to 40 days..... 45..... 50..... ??? At 32 days I waited for my period to grace me with its presence.... I had been too emotionally exhausted to consciously try to get pregnant the last month.... didn't want to have to deal with more disappointment. I would try again next time. So, I waited for my period to start, so I could start counting days again and start myself on another potential emotional roller coaster. 34 days.... it should start any time.... I am feeling a little crampy..... 36 days...... any time now.... unless.... no...... I couldn't be pregnant, I didn't even try this month. But....maybe..... I convinced myself to just keep waiting..... didn't want to see another test telling me I'm not pregnant.... reminding me that I'm not a mother..... giving me those tinges of hopelessness and fear that I never will be a mother....

On Friday night (day 36) I got some suprise news. I was on the phone with my mom and she said that my older brother, Chris, wanted to talk to me. Hmmmm.... seemed weird. When he got on the phone he sounded hessitant..... "Hey... uuhhh..... looks like you'll be getting a new neice or nephew..........." He couldn't be serious... could he? I thought he and Cassidy would wait longer before having kids! But, he sounded too serious and scared. "Wow! Thats cool. Congrats." (...just to clear things up... they actually aren't pregnant anymore unfortunately... click here). He still sounded terrified as he relayed to me that Cass was about a month along. Was he nervous at the thought of being a father (understandable for anyone!) or was he scared that I was going to break into tears? A few months after my second miscarriage, my sister had announced she was 3 months pregnant. Though I was so happy for her, I burst into tears and had to leave the room. I was glad it worked for her.... but, why couldn't it work for me??? Since then, I've miscarried again. So, I am sure Chris was scared to tell me.... worried about making me feel bad. But, suprisingly I did't cry or anything after hearing Chris's news. I think there was a bit of hope inside me..... "I could be pregnant.... there is a chance....and maybe this time it will work..."

Saturday, day 37..... I went and bought a pregnancy test. We had decided that if I hadn't started by Sunday, I'd do a test then and see. I hadn't bought one earlier.... didn't want to be tempted to test earlier....

Sunday morning, I got up before Steve was out of bed... didn't want to have to face him with my disappointment when I got another negative. So, I took the test..... I took a quick glance at first.... just one line.... of course..... "It's okay.... I'll try again this month.... it will happen when it's supposed to......" Then I looked at the test again......